If I could pick one word to describe my emotions yesterday it would be overwhelmed. If you ever ask the Lord to break your heart for the things that break his.. be ready to feel more than you've ever felt before. If we could feel and see even a fraction of what the Lord sees... I don't think our human hearts could take it. I asked the Lord that morning to show me what breaks his heart and to create in me a heart that hurts for the needs of others. That night after Bible Study we spent a good amount of time discussing the hopeless situation of pregnant teens living on the streets.. with no one to turn to and no way to create a decent life for their baby. To them, adoption is abandonment. Some even walk away from the only chance they have to change the path of their life and the life of their baby. When there is no will to change, there is nothing that will help them except the Holy Spirit working. After this, we drove through the part of town that the street people and the really poor live. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Garbage everywhere, kids slept on mats on the side of the road in plain sight of the world, no protection, no where else to turn. Now, my personality is such that when I see something that needs help I try and find the solution. There is none in this case. Except one. The Lord God transforming each heart to want to change and to accept that there is a way for them to get up and live a life they may no longer believe they can. The Lord is the only hope to each and every one of us. Only him. Only he can change even the dirtiest of souls. Only the Lord can pull us out of the mud and mire we began in and set us on firm ground. It may take a while to be fully cleaned of the past, but he will grant freedom. He is freedom.
The Lord is transforming my mind and my heart. How then can I go back to a world that doesn't understand, to a place that thinks so differently? My heart will be torn. Apathy is the disease of my culture.