Today as we were sitting at the table waiting for the moms to come at the end of the day, little 4 year old Georgeli and I were doing some drawing. Before she started drawing her picture, she looked at me and said, "I'm going to draw a baby." After she had finished drawing, she asked me what I thought her picture was. And if you've ever been drawing with little ones, you may know this is a dangerous question. Well considering it looked an awful lot like a baby wrapped in a blanket, I said it looked very much like a little baby. She looked very serious for a moment and said. "It's a motorcycle."

Well the Christmas season is coming up fast. At El Jordan, that means little sleep and a lot of work. But it's all 100% worth it. The Christmas on the streets ministry is such an amazing ministry. We will be feeding 5000 people who live on the streets and feel so alone on Christmas. I am going to try to get everything I need to get done now before the rush starts so that I will have energy to do my best.

An update on Beba: we found out that from her fall she fractured her skull. They didn't get her into the hospital in time to properly set the bones so she is on medication that should cause the bones to heal on their own. Now the worry is that she'll get a blood clot in her brain. If she even bumps her head, she's in great danger of this happening. But! She came to El Jordan a couple days ago and I got to spend the afternoon watching her. It seems prayers are being answered. She didn't seem to be in any pain and was running around like nothing was wrong. I literally had to chase her around to make sure she was being careful. I assume she wasn't too thrilled with my hovering and enforcing limitations on her. She is such a smart, strong-willed little girl. I know the Lord's protective hand is covering her little brain. Praise be to the Lord who hears our prayers.

Things seem to be taking a giant turn for the better back in Canada. All I can say is that the Lord is the healer. There is no wound to0 deep, no addiction too strong, no heart to hard for the Lord to heal. And where there is healing, there is immeasurable, unfathomable freedom. Who is man that you care for him? Yet he continues to give us freedom and unity. Only by his grace are we truly free.

I have an urgent prayer request. A couple hours ago we got a phone call that Beba, one of the two year olds, fell and hit her head really hard. Her entire face is swollen and she has gone into convulsions and thrown up. It doesn't take a doctor to know this is serious. They plan to take her to town to the hospital tomorrow as they live very far away. Please pray that tonight will pass with no news of her getting worse and that she will be ok. She's a very special little girl.

If I could pick one word to describe my emotions yesterday it would be overwhelmed. If you ever ask the Lord to break your heart for the things that break his.. be ready to feel more than you've ever felt before. If we could feel and see even a fraction of what the Lord sees... I don't think our human hearts could take it. I asked the Lord that morning to show me what breaks his heart and to create in me a heart that hurts for the needs of others. That night after Bible Study we spent a good amount of time discussing the hopeless situation of pregnant teens living on the streets.. with no one to turn to and no way to create a decent life for their baby. To them, adoption is abandonment. Some even walk away from the only chance they have to change the path of their life and the life of their baby. When there is no will to change, there is nothing that will help them except the Holy Spirit working. After this, we drove through the part of town that the street people and the really poor live. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Garbage everywhere, kids slept on mats on the side of the road in plain sight of the world, no protection, no where else to turn. Now, my personality is such that when I see something that needs help I try and find the solution. There is none in this case. Except one. The Lord God transforming each heart to want to change and to accept that there is a way for them to get up and live a life they may no longer believe they can. The Lord is the only hope to each and every one of us. Only him. Only he can change even the dirtiest of souls. Only the Lord can pull us out of the mud and mire we began in and set us on firm ground. It may take a while to be fully cleaned of the past, but he will grant freedom. He is freedom.
The Lord is transforming my mind and my heart. How then can I go back to a world that doesn't understand, to a place that thinks so differently? My heart will be torn. Apathy is the disease of my culture.

Is anything more precious than that moment when a child wakes up and nestles close to you with her head on your chest. Today was one of those days that my heart nearly exploded. A little two year old that gave me nothing but tears and glares in the beginning now enjoys cuddling with me and being my little cleanup helper. I spent an hour playing K-nex with two new girls. Got to explain the gospel through an insult from a couple of teens.
It's been a week with no classes. No classes meant no kids. Oh how I missed them! I've noticed something here. It doesn't take much at all to get a big smile from a kid. I simply have to smile at them and their face lights up. How beautiful is that?

Today started at 6 am flipping another 176 crepes for the pastors breakfast at El Jordan. I can now truthfully say that I can flip crepes in my sleep. If I didn't have larger dreams I might consider opening my own crepe shop. I then went upstairs to drop off some whipped cream in my house and ended up falling asleep. I woke up at four and realized that everyone was gone! Not the greatest feeling.

"But thanks to God who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other the fragrance of life. And who is equal such a task?..... Not that we are competent in ourselves, to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, 3:5

Here is what I long for. That the Lord will make me like a fragrance of life. That the one who is the source of all competence will make me into someone who will bless people for Him. That he will make me into someone whose aroma is the knowledge of Christ. How great is the Lord that he builds us up and lifts us out of the hopeless mess we began in and creates in us a joyful heart to serve him.

Tomorrow. There are exciting happenings for tomorrow. We are going to be heading out onto the streets to meet people and invite them to start attending El Jordan. I pray that the Lord will lead us to the people he has prepared in advance. This next month's classes are specifically set aside for all the new students. They start November 8th and end December 8th.

The only failure is the one who makes a mistake and does not grow through it. Who sits in self pity and self loathing rather than get up and move ahead. In every ministry, in every new situation, we are bound to make mistakes. But it's those mistakes that teach us how to do things right. Confidence is something that is given from the Lord when we are in his will. Often times the enemy will try and drag us down by pointing out the mistakes we make instead of the truth. The Lord put us in this place to do good works. Will he leave us without teaching us and molding us to do our very best?

These past few months the two things I have learned most is to have the confidence in my ministry here to move forward and to value love above all else. In the end, it is not how efficient I am or how good of crafts I can think up that will make the difference to these children. It is surrounding them with a loving environment. At the end of the day they will remember that the followers of Jesus love people- love them. And it is because of Jesus that they do.

Yesterday was our Exposition. All the students came to El Jordan, set up a booth and sold the things that they had been making all year. The cooking students sold lunch and refreshments, the sewing students and leatherworking students sold their items and people from all over town came to see what they had done. During the morning I was in charge of one of the booths of a cooking student as she was in the kitchen and her 7 month old baby William. Nothing beats cuddling a sleeping baby in your arms. Then for the afternoon I was in charge of 20 kids upstairs. It was chaos! I had to send quite a few kids to the time out chair. But again.. being able to laugh with them and play with them is quite a blessing and even though at the end of the day I was exhausted, it was a day very well spent and I loved every minute.